Don’t make the same mistakes I made.
The ghost of Christmas past has gone and went, so with the 2023 New Year you’ve got a new guide: ME, the millennial! I’ve packed my life into a tech vest, worn every color of plastic cargo pants from pastel to neon, and lost hundreds of butterfly clips all before I was in high school.
Velour Tracksuits
The hoodie and sweatpants athleisure look is the logical conclusion of this trend. Velour is just more annoying to wash on laundry day. You’ve been warned.
Ultra LowRise Pants
Low-rise keeps threatening to come back, and the threat is becoming real with brands like Good American & Pacsun (a late-90’s staple) embracing the free navel once more. As a seasoned millennial, I’m unashamed to say I never got rid of my navel piercing from the Britney-era and high-rise pants are my painful ENEMY. Remember, until your zipper has been shortened to between one & two inches, you don’t know what ultra-low rise is yet. They’re only getting lower. Some 2023 revivals sport a V-cut waist to avoid cutting the hip in an unflattering way, which is a nice evolution, but make sure your undies are cute 24/7 because everyone is going to see the back of them. It’s just a fact. Dresses Over Denim Have you ever tried on a Halloween costume on top of your clothes in the seasonal aisle at your favorite department store? That’s exactly what this Y2K combo feels like. Ashley Tisdale was a true Y2K fashion warrior, she just fought for the wrong cause. No one wants this trend to come back. Fight it.
Shirts Over (Longer) Shirts
Are people really asking for this? This wasn’t the worst feeling combo to wear, but a HUGE mistake was wearing the same combination of colors repeatedly.
If you’re going to revive this Y2K grunge staple, consider a few completely different tee’s to play with. Rotating 5 white long-sleeve tees for your base layer is going to make your WFH coworkers very worried.
Wide Cargo Pants
This is my favorite returning trend, mostly because of the pockets. But materials really matter. This style of stiff, plasticky, loose pants can get hella noisy. Tight wet-look vinyl pants had a similar issue a few years ago. If your pants sound like a light summer breeze lifting a CVS bag into the wind during your first try-on, they will sound like your weekly trip down 4 flights of stairs on garbage day once you actually leave the house. Give them a noise test! Weird Tiny Vests Look, I can’t explain this one or tell you why they were exclusively pinstripe or denim. I can only warn you to just skip it and go for the sweater vest instead.