Starting your journey to find your kink.
Being able to push the boundaries in the bedroom is something that all couples can explore. Often the misconception that kink and bondage have to involve full-on BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism)— definitely NOT the case. Not all bondage involves rubber masks and whips (unless you want it to). 50 Shades of Grey, and now the new series 365 Days, have done a great job reintroducing kink back into the mainstream. Slight aggression, dominance, or softer submission are fun and exciting ways to try something new and tap into a world of different senses and sensations.
“Kink is anything that falls outside the bounds of culturally defined expectations, which, because of often wildly puritanical societies, could basically be anything that’s not penile-vaginal intercourse,” sexual-health consultant Francisco Ramirez previously told Well Good.
When it’s put like that… well damn - there’s so much we can tap into, from sight, to smells, and even control play. The first thing that I felt was the most important is communication — saying what you want to try and being open to trying something new is the first step. Once that door is open– the world truly is your oyster.
BLINDFOLDING
An easy first step I found was using a blindfold– which you can make a blindfold from a scarf or a tie if you don’t feel comfortable buying one at a store. It’s been proven that removing one sense heightens the other so something this simple can add an entirely new sensory level to your sex life.
SPANKING
Another super simple way to start exploring your kink is spanking. The first thing you should know about this kinky idea is that some find spanking incredibly hot and arousing, while others don’t enjoy it at all. You can literally make someone cry with pleasure and pain at the same time. It all comes down to personal preference. With that in mind, I hope you’ll at least explore it.
TOYS
If you're finally up for a trip to the store or Amazon this is where toys can begin to elevate the experience. Whips, floggers, paddles, crops, slappers, and canes are all toys that can be used. I suggest going to the store together to test what tool is good for you before trying it. Some toys look very aggressive but, when used, implement very light sensations compared to smaller whips that can really leave a sting.
ROLEPLAY
Role play is also a great introductory way to play up your kink. Deciding who can be the “giver” versus the “receiver” can change the entire dynamic during sex. Relinquishing your autonomy is an amazing feeling and freeing yourself to be in the moment can be transcendent but that may not be your vibe. You could be a “giver” where you can play up your desire to be in control. Giving small commands like telling your partner to lay down or remove an article of clothing can be a major turn-on.
SURPRISE SEX
Finally, surprise sex can be incredibly kinky. Changing up when and where you have sex can completely change the dynamic. Surprise your partner when driving with a quick peek under the skirt or in a dark theater (don’t tell them I sent you). If you're more of an indoors person, try a new room like the kitchen or the bathroom. Sometimes the most impromptu sex is the best but sure you get your partners consent before anything goes down (or you :)).
Now that you are armed with some simple ways of introducing kink into your sex life, check out some of our favorite introductory tools you can try when you are feeling…frisky.
Shhhh Blind, Babeland
50 Shades of Kink, Babeland
Sex & Mischief Heartbeat Crop, Babeland